What Not To Do At Bloor's Academy
by Laurien1
Summary: A giant random comedy where the plot is mostly unimportant. The unwritten rules of Bloor's are being broken, what now? 10 people have this in their faves so it can't be that bad, can it? You tell me, I'd really like to know. Peace out! Have a nice day!
1. Provacative?

**Author's Note:**

**I don't own Charlie Bone.**

**The idea for this is not my original. The things not to do are but the concept of this list is in many Harry Potter fanfics but since I have yet to see one in the Charlie Bone fanfics I have decided to supply one. I think sexual inuendos are funny so expect a lot of them. I don't know how many unwritten rules (as I'm calling them) I'll end up with, I guess as many as I can think of. lol. Here we go.**

**What Not To Do At Bloor's Academy**

_1. NO GRAFFITYING DIRTY PICTURES ON THE RUIN WALLS._

Charlie Bone sighed and went over to visit his friends, Gabriel and Fidelio, who both looked rather bored as well.

"Hey, Gabe, Fidelio." sighed Charlie.

"Hey, Charlie." they sighed back in unison.

"So, what's up? Anything exciting going on today?" Charlie asked.

"Ha! I wish!" Gabriel yelled, causing Fidelio to jump slightly. All three sat down and sighed. Suddenly, a very giggly Olivia skipped over to them and plopped down beside them in the grass.

"Hi!" she giggled, "What's with the long faces? Oh!" she exclaimed, "You three haven't seen the ruin, have you?" she giggled again.

Charlie looked at her oddly. "Well of course we've seen the ruin, weirdo! We've seen it nearly every day we've been at Bloor's." Olivia fell over laughing and the boys raised their eyebrows suspiciously.

"Has something happened to the ruin?" Fidelio inquired. Olivia laughed even harder and started rolling around holding her stomach. Charlie just rolled his eyes but Gabriel looked rather irritated. They waited a few minutes before Gabriel couldn't take it anymore.

"Olivia!" He yelled. She stopped momentarily and then began again. Gabriel yelled again and pinned her arms down and sat on her stomach provacatively, looking her in the eyes. "Are you going to tell us what's so funny or not?" She finally stopped and smiled mischieviously back up at him from her position on the ground.

"Gabriel Silk, I had no idea you felt this way." Gabriel turned pink and jumped off of her while Charlie and Fidelio made 'oooing' noises. Fidelio even threw in an 'Ow! OW!'.

"Just tell us what's so funny." he said testily.

Olivia smiled again. "Why don't you just come and see for yourselves?" with that, she motioned for them to come and she started running back towards the ruin where a crowd had formed, all laughing and pointing. "Come on, come!" she grabbed their arms and pushed them to the front of the crowd, giggling furiously. "Look!" she excaimed.

The boys looked and all at once their jaws dropped and they began laughing histerically.

"Is that--Is that what I think it is?!" Gabriel yelped. He pointed staight ahead and saw Olivia blush slightly.

"And look there! Is that supposed to be Dr Bloor in a thong?! Oh my, has he let himself go!" Charlie began grasping his sides due to laughing cramps.

Fidelio was laughing as well and suddenly his face went very pale and he looked at Charlie.

"What's wrong, Fido?" Charlie was still smirking.

"Er, Charlie, I think that one's--" he was cut off as Tancred and Lysander came up behind him and Tancred sent a warm yet strong blast of air through the crowd and let out of howl of laughter.

"Hey, Charlie! I think that one's supposed to be _YOU_!!" he yelled and pointed, causing the crowd to follow his finger to the graffity- figure on the end of naked boy that said _'CHARLIE BONER'_ in cool red letters above it's head. There was also a red arrow pointing to a very provacative, very errect, place. Charlie looked and began to blush uncontrollably and looked furiously at Tancred. "Oh, um, my bad, Charlie. That was totally _my bad_!"

Charlie's eye twitched and he said in a very slow voice through clenched teeth, "You think perhaps you could previde a bit of water to wipe the wall clean?" his eye twitched again while Gabriel, Fidelio, Lysander, and Olivia tryed desperately not to look at their friend's nude portrait but were finding this an impossible task.

"Uh, sure, bud. Whatever you say." Tancred took a deep breath and a rain cloud formed just above Charlie's wall image and the rain washed it away.

"Awwwwe!" cried the crowd as they watched the red paint slip down to the ground. "Way to be a party-pooper, Charlie!"

Charlie's eye twitched again and Emma came walking over to see what the fuss was all about. "What's going on, Olivia?"

"Oh, Em, you've just missed seeing Charlie naked!"

"Damn, they've erased it." she murmered.

"What was that?"

"Er, um, nothing." then she looked up at the rest of the wall and her eyes widened slightly and then she fell back while trying to back away, hit her head on a rock and passed out in the mud. Her hands fell open to reveal red paint-spattered palms.

**Author's Note:**

**Lol. Silly little Emma, where _DID_ that paint come from? Mwahahaha. Reviews???**


	2. Ghetto Slang

**Author's Note:**

**Hey! Story's going pretty well so far. Every day I try to come up with more chapter ideas, I want to go as long as I can. lol. Thanks for the reviews and favorites and alerts. You keep me going! Here we go. For this chapter, I appologize to everyone who is ghetto-er than I, for I did the best I could. lol.**

What Not To Do At Bloor's Academy

_2. NO USING AMERICAN GHETTO SLANG TO CONFUSE MANFRED OUT OF GIVING YOU DETENTION_.

Tancred walked down the corridor to assembly just like any other day, but with small zapping sounds coming from his hair, and Lysander ran up behind him.

"Hey." he said quietly, a gust of wind blew at him, nearly knocking him down. "Jeeze, Tanc, what's up?"

Tancred stopped and turned to him, giving him the stink-eye and kept walking. Lysander stopped momentarily and made a face, then ran to catch up to him. "Bad morning?" he touched Tancred's arm and an even bigger gust hit him, pushing him back a few paces. Tancred turned and gave him the twitchiest stink-eye ever given and put his finger to his lips in an attempt to obey the 'no talking in the halls' rule. Any normal person would've just walked away and left an angry storm-bringer alone but Lysander decided to press the issue further. He ran up behind him again and poked his shoulder playfully. "Gosh, Tanky, who put a bee in your undies?" Lysander giggled and waited for a reply. Tancred, trying to be angry, refused to let himself smile, although the corners of his lips did curl a bit.

"Go a_way_." he couldn't hold it in so he smiled but quickly looked away and growled. Lysander just giggled again. Just as Tancred turned to growl in his face, Manfred came sliding over, looking ready to give out a detention.

"Torrson, Sage. You two have been here long enough, shouldn't you know that there's no talking in the corridor?"

"Yes, Manfred." Lysander grumbled. Tancred said nothing and looked up into the cold eyes of Manfred and allowed his eye to twitch at him.

"What's your problem, Torrson? No cheek or else I'd be very happy to give you a detention. Heaven knows that freak girl who spray-painted the ruin will be needing some company this weekend."

Tancred's eyes widened, the last thing his bad mood needed was to be made worse by a stupid detention. Just as he was about to say 'Yes, Manfred.' as expected, he began to smirk as an idea popped into his head.

"What are you smiling at? Respect my authoritay!"

Tancred glanced at Lysander and winked. "Word up, po-po wannabe, I was just chillin out, jammin, and spittin the hoppin-est word with my homie o'er he-yar. Nobody gots to be all wigged-out, dishin out yall's detentions. It's just anuda way the man be keepin us brothers down, foo. Yo, L-Sage, we gots to be gettin to class biotch! Word out my brother! **PEACE**!" Tancred grabbed Lysander's arm and they started walking away, leaving Manfred there scratching his head. Lysander just stared at Tancred like he was crazy, then started laughing.

"My people would be proud, Tancred. Way to dish it like a real brother." he gave him a high-five and they stopped and stared back at Manfred, now drawing imaginary words in the air in front of him with his finger.

"I do what I can." Tancred laughed. Unfortunately, Manfred happened to hear them laughing and looked to see them still standing there.

"Torrson! Sage! Detention, both of you!" Manfred yelled, then he threw his hands in the air and ran off, muttering something about an urban slang dictionary.

Lysander put his arms up, expecting a lightening bolt to crash down on his head, but nothing happened. He opened his eyes and looked at Tancred. Tancred took a deep breath and let it out in a giant sigh. "Oh well," he said cheerily, "What can you do? And besides, how often to I get a chance to use my fresh ghetto slang **AND** meet the Graffitti Girl in the same flippin week?!" He let out a loud laugh and Tancred and Lysander laughed all the way to assembly.

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter is kind of short and I, very unfortunately, did not find an opportunity to put it a sexual inuendo. Ah well, I suppose my mind's not as dirty as I thought it was. lol. I'll update as soon as possible. PEACE!**


	3. The Mask of Zorro

**Author's Note:**

**Ahh! Thanks people!! Laurien sends chocolate-covered pretzels to each of you ;-) Just so you know, I do have a system for the order of which I'm writing the chapters. It's all here, on this notebook in front of me. I'm very, very sorry GabrielSilk (a fanfic author, not the character) but I'm afraid that Gabriel will not have his own chapter until chapter 6. He'll be around though, don't worry. But now you know what to look forward to! Chapter 6 is your friend :-D Mmmkay, onward!!!**

**What Not To Do At Bloor's Academy**

_3. NO PUTTING ON A MASK AND PRETENDING TO BE ZORRO_.  
(Sorry if you don't know who Zorro is!)

It was an average day just like any other, not a graffitied-wall or a ghetto-talking storm-bringer to be found at Bloor's. Fidelio, Gabriel, and Olivia were walking around on the grounds, just after lunch, enjoying the wonderfully sunny day that was upon them. After about five minutes of enjoying the sunny day, Fidelio and his two friends got bored with walking and went to go sit and talk in the grass. (a/n deja vu?)

"Nice day, huh?" said Fidelio cooly, masking the uncontrollable antsiness that was growing inside him, telling him to get up and do something he's never done before.

"Yeah, it is." Gabriel sighed and turned to look at Fidelio. "Fido, why are you so fidgety? Weirdo."

Fidelio stuck his tongue out and made a horrid face at him. "I don't know. It feels like there's some kind of...alien or something in my head, telling me to do something. It sounds a lot like my mother actually."

"Hmm," Gabriel pondered his words. "Is she hot?"

"Gabriel!" Olivia yelled.

"What?" Gabriel looked at Fidelio who was cringing. "All I'm saying is that I wouldn't mind having a hot alien girl in _my_ head."

"Gabriel! That's my mother you're talking about!" Fidelio snapped at him.

"What? NO! I'm talking about a hot alien chick! Where the hell does your mother come into this?"

"Whoa man, calm down. You said it, not me." Fidelio said acusingly.

Gabriel looked partly outraged and partly disgusted. "No no no! Fidelio, I do NOT want your mother!"

"What? You want Fidelio's mom? Sick, Gabriel!" Olivia threw in, teasingly.

"Argh! Just listen, I said--"

"Hey, Gabe. I get it, you like my mom, the things is, she's kind of with my dad right now so you should probably back off. But hey, no hard feelings, right bud?" Fidelio put out his hand in an effort to shake. Gabriel just stared at him and Olivia like they were crazy people.

"I am so DONE with you guys! UGH!" Gabriel yelled and threw his hands over his head and fell back into the grass. Olivia stared at him for a minute then looked back at Fidelio.

"So what was it telling you to do?" she inquired.

"Oh, nothing." but he seemed unsure.

"Cool." she looked at the ground then realised something she forgot. "Oh! I didn't show you guys what I got!" the boys looked at her expectantly as she fumbled inside her unneccesarily large bag for something. "Ah, here they are!" She pulled out a black mask with eye-holes, a black hat, and a small, thin pole. She pulled the top of the pole out and it was a long, skinny sword. She held them up and looked at her friends, waiting. "Well?"

"Erm, what are they for?" Gabriel asked. Fidelio however, looked at them wantingly.

"I don't know. A voice in my head just told me to bring them to school this week. Don't they look just like what Antonio Banderas wore in The Mask of Zorro?" she handed them to Fidelio.

"Yes, they do." He took the maskand hat and put them on. He looked nothing like the real Zorro but it was close enough for him.

"Fidelio, what are you doing?" asked Gabriel, who finally sat up. Fidelio picked up the sword and stood up, the voice in his head whispering to him, 'Do it!'

"This!" he yelled. "ALALALALALA!!" he started running around the grounds holding the sword in front of him as confused students frantically fled from his war-path. "I **YAM** ZORRRRRRO!" he even rolled the 'r's. Gabriel and Olivia stood also and watched him run around. Fidelio stopped and looked at Gabriel, twitched his eye, and started charging at him.

"AAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEE!!!!" he screamed like a girl and ran off as fast as he could, Fidelio still in hot pursuit. Just then Tancred walked over to Olivia.

"Um, what's he doing to Gabriel?"

"AAAAAAAAAAEEE!!!" Gabriel ran past Tancred and Olivia.

"COME BACK HERE! I'M ZORRO!" Fidelio ran past right after him.

"Fidelio thinks he's Zorro. He doesn't look much like him but he does have a nice Spanish accent."

"Mmhm."

They ran around a corner and then Fidelio was running back, Gabriel had collapsed on the ground, and Manfred chasing right behind him. "That's detention for you, Fidelio Gunn! Give me that damn sword!"

Fidelio turned and stuck his tongue out and kept running. "NEVER!!!!!!!!" and around the corner they went.

**Author's Note:**

**Ha, I love Zorro. Thanks for the reviews, again. This chapter was way more easy to write than I thought it would be. Coolio! Check ya' later!**


	4. Playing 'Doctor'

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys. Thanks sooo much to everyone and anyone who put me in favorites/alerts. I got about 7 emails of that nature this morning, I almost cried I was so happy. You don't even know how excited I was! I wasn't sure who should be in the King's Room so I'm just going to put whom ever I want in there, kay? Sorry if it doesn't make sense, I guess this story's pretty much AU. Well, anyway...here we go.**

**What Not To Do At Bloor's Academy**

_4. NO TAKING PICTURES OF MATRON AND PLAYING 'DOCTOR'._

"Come on, Charlie Bone! You are going to be late for homework!" squawked Charlie's evil aunt who just happened to be the Bloor's Matron. She had a firm grip on his ear as she dragged a writhing Charlie to the King's Room for homework, he was ten minutes late. "Honestly, Charlie! How do you think your behavior makes our family look?"

"Not any worse than your face." he mumbled, still in pain due to his ear being ripped off his face.

"What? _more_ insubordination? That's detention for you! Now get _in_ there!" she thrust him through the open door to the King's Room, his red ear was met by snickering from the opposite side of the table. The 'bad' side of the table consisted of Manfred, Asa, Joshua, Idith and Inez, and Dorcas **(a/n hate her!!! If I'm forgetting someone you think should be there, let me know, I've read all the books but not everyone else has.)**. The side closest to Charlie was the 'good' side with Tancred, Lysander, Emma, Gabriel, Billy, and himself, because that's where he sat down.

"What's up, Charlie?" Billy whispered.

"Nothing. I just can't stand Matron. Not only is she at school, but then she comes over on weekends. It's a friggen nightmare." He pounded his fist on the table.

"Lock you lips, Bone or I'll lock them for you." said Manfred, barely looking up from his book.

Charlie smiled promiscuously. "Is that a promise, Manny?" the whole room looked up at Manfred who, much to everyone's surprise, looked up and returned the same smile.

"Well, you're a saucy boy today." Everyone was so shocked that it was another 10 minutes before Manfred finally made them work.

"Erm, so you were saying, Charlie?" Billy whispered again, glancing at Manfred for safety.

Charlie's smile reversed and a scowl took it's place. "I just really wish I could get back at her for all the crap she's done. Or at least for giving me detention."

"I know how you feel, but what can you do?" Billy smiled sympathetically and returned to his homework. Charlie sighed and did the same. Then he had what he believed was an epiphany. A smile once again crossed his face. _'More than you know, Billy.'_ he thought evily.

Late that night, had anyone been awake they would've seen Charlie Bone going through his bags for a digital camera. Bloor's students were not allowed to have technology while at school but Charlie had always kept his camera tucked away, just in case. Next they would've seen him sneak out of his room into the dark hallways with the camera in his pocket.

He had recently discovered exactly where it was that Matron slept while at school, an old room in the back of the building. in all black apparell, he crept to her gloomy room, humming his own theme song. "Dum dum da dum, budda budda, dum dum duddle uddley ooooooooompshaw..." When he finally reached his destination, he pulled out his camera and hid in the shadows. His aunt was in bed, snoring grotesquely. "Dum dum da dum..." he hummed even softer. "Here goes nothing." He hit the zoom button on his camera and went straight for her face. He then jumped through the door and ran off into the night. Laughing maniacally. Then he realised where he was and shut the hell up before he got another detention.

Charlie walked down the corridors that morning, looking very tired, and met up with Fidelio and Gabriel.

"Why so tired, Charlie? Been up all night working?" Gabriel teased.

"HA!" Charlie guffawed. "You might say that...dum, budda budda."

"What was that last bit?" Fidelio asked. Then looking at the floor, he noticed the many papers thrown about.

"Oh, noth--"

"OH! MY! **GOSH!!!** HA HA HA!!!" the interuption came from none other than Olivia, who had picked up one of the many papers scattered around. The second she screamed people began scrambling to pick up a paper. The shuffeling was followed by papers being picked up and then more screams of billowy laughter erupted and shook the entire building. Gabriel, seeing the mess that had been unleashed, naturally, lunged at the ground and brought up one of the papers.

"Oh my..." said Fidelio.

Charlie looked unsurprised but smiled evily. "Gee, what is it?" Gabriel just smiled as huge as his face would allow. In his hands he held a copied picture of a voluptuous woman, wearing just about nothing, in a scandalous position with another woman who seemed a bit off. The other woman was very large, very naked and had the head of Bloor's very own Matron Yewbeam.

"Ha, what a sexy beast." said Gabriel.

"WHAT?" Fidelio stared at him crazily.

"The caption, genious. Gah!"

A few moments later the teachers began fludding into the hallways, ripping papers from students hands and crinkling them up, though the vast majority were having a very hard time containing their laughter. Once the students had finally been ushered vigorously into their class rooms, the day began to seem almost maybe about normal. Just as everyone began to get serious, the loudest scream in the history of screams ever heard at Bloor's (and there had been a lot of them) was heard as it billowed out from the back rooms of the school.

Charlie Bone only laughed harder.

**Author's Note:**

**Lol. There you go. Poor Matron...NOT!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha. I love being evil! Updates are coming soon. ;-D**


	5. Girly Screams

**Author's Note:**

**Ah. Here we are again. More fun to be had everyone. To GabrielSilk: Chapter after this is for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**What Not To Do At Bloor's Academy**

_5. NO DYING BILLY RAVEN'S HAIR WHILE HE SLEEPS._

It was a quiet night. Everyone was tired from laughing so hard that morning over the picture, that is, until Matron went on a mad rampage of ripping, tearing, chewing, and burning. Then everyone was just a little scared (even more than usual). Now, though, most just wanted to sleep and enjoy the snuggliness that was their beds. There were only a few boys still awake. Charlie, Billy, Gabriel, and Fidelio. Fidelio was turned away on his side from the other boys, but the motion of his arm gave away his rubbing of something under his blanket. Charlie and Gabriel were both craning their necks to see what he was doing but Billy couldn't care less.

Just when Charlie was about to give up, Gabriel stuck his neck out so far that he fell off his bed with a thump, waking up a few of the other boys with his unusually girly scream.

"Jeeze, Gabriel. You alright?" Charlie asked.

"Who cares?" said Billy blandly.

He hauled himself up off the floor and dusted himself off. "Yeah, I think so."

"Great. Now shut up. Some people are trying to sleep and your unusually girly scream is keeping them awake." Billy snapped.

Gabriel looked outraged. "I do _NOT_ scream like a girl. Do I, Charlie?"

Charlie looked up at him nervously. "Erm, you..._flgudfheisfhduu_..." he mumbled.

"What?" Gabriel questioned sharply.

"He said you do. So shut up." Billy had found a button and continued to push it. "Gabby."

Gabriel eyed him angrily. "_YOU_ shut up! I do not scream like a girl! And don't call me Gabby!"

One of the other random boys answered him. "Gabriel, you scream like a girl. Get the hell over it and _SHUT UP_." Bily started laughing and Gabriel looked really angry.

"Grrrrr! Fidelio! What the hell _ARE _you doing?!" He took his aggression out on poor innocent Fidelio.

Fidelio screamed and chucked something tan and furry against the wall and fell out of bed. "Nothing!" but he was too late. gabriel ahd seen him throw the fluffy object and dived over to grab it, desperate to take the ridicule away from him. He rolled around on the bed with Fidelio until Charlie decided to intervein.

"Woo! All we need is jello and spandex and we've got a really good show here!" A bunch of guys laughed. Gabriel and Fidelio stopped and realised the awkward position they had landed in. Gabriel, on top of Fidelio, pinning his arms down, their faces only an inch a part. The tension between the two rising with every passing moment, sexual or otherwise.

"Ugh!" they yelled and jumped off of eachother. Then Gabriel lunged at the object and held it up by it's foot.

"What is this? Is this...is this a _Snuggle Bear_ doll?" some of the guys snickered.

"Look! It makes my sheets and jammies smell really good and feel soft, okay? Now give it back!"

"Ooookaaayyy." he threw it back and Fidelio gave it a hug and murmured something about 'the big bad girly boy won't hurt you any more.'.

"Gabriel. Shut up and go to sleep." Billy said.

"UGH!" and Gabriel flopped down onto his bed just as matron popped in and turned the light off.

While everyone else was asleep, Gabriel lay awake. Plotting. "You just wait Billy Raven. You've made me a laughing stock for the last time. Grrrrrr--Wait! I've got it!...Why am I talking to myself?" While he pondered it he got out of bed and went into the bathroom. He came out a few moments later with three small cups of colored goop. "Thankyou, Olivia. Damn, I've got to stop doing that!" He calmed himself and slowly made his way towards Billy's bed, smiling evily. He put his finger in the first cup of goop and started slowly attacking Billy's sleeping head. He didn't wake.

Gabriel went back to he's own bed a few minutes later, the now empty cups in the garbage. The second he layed his head down he was asleep and woke up the next morning in a very good mood. The rest of the boys woke up a few minutes later, no one really noticed Billy, he woke up late.

Gabriel, Charlie, and Fidelio sat in assembly along with everyone else. They were quietly chatting when Billy walked in hurriedly and sat down next to them. "Oh gosh, sorry I'm late guys." he rubbed his eyes. "Why didn't you wake me up?" He waited for an answer but the three boys--and any one who had heard him come in--could not take their eyes off him. "What's wrong with you guys?" It was Gabriel who chose to speak up, er, yell up actually.

"BILLY! WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR!?" he shreaked, back in his girly voice, he threw his hands up to bring more attention. Everyone turned abruptly and stared at him. Then, all at once, the assembly room burst with laughter from students and gasps from teachers.

"BILLY RAVEN! GO OUT IN THE HALL IMMEDIATELY!" yelled a random teacher.

"Charlie? What's wrong with my hair?" Billy screached.

"Erm, it--"

"OUT! AND DETENTION!!"

"FINE THEN!" and he walked out in a fury of confusion. Desperately wanting to know what was wrong with his hair, he fled to the drama department, he knew there'd be mirrors there. He grabbed the mirrior on the nearest table and held it up. "Oh my gosh...OH! MY! GOSH!!!" he yelled. In his hair, in messy purple, yellow, and hott pink letters, read 'Bloor's Sux &$#$&!' He passed out right then and there.

Later that night, after having had his head viciously scrubbed three times to get the dye out, Billy came into the dorm room in a very angry mood.

"Woah! Somebody's an angry puppy! Wink wink Billy. Cough cough."

Billy glowered at him, his head still throbbing. "Shut up, Gabriel." he snapped.

Gabriel threw his hands up. "Woah man! Take a chill pill!" Billy was about to react when he reached out and grabbed his wrist. His hand was spattered with purple, yellow, and pink color. "Oh my gosh." Gabriel was speachless and scared. "5 seconds...4..."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Gabriel squealed and ran.

" 3-2-1 GABRIEL SIIIIIILK!!"

**Author's Note:**

**Ha. I'll let your imaginations figure out what was dyed in Billy's hair. lol. Thanks for the reviews. It made me feel less unhappy. Today was a pretty sucky day. lol. Peace!!**


	6. Thriller

**So, I'm sorry for the long wait. I was very anti-fanfiction for a while due to my nasty fight with Plot. You see, Plot and I just don't seem to get along so I try to avoid it as long as I can but now I've come to realize, avoiding Plot won't make the pain stop. Sometimes you just have to stick through it if you want good results. Blah. So Plot, this is an official appology from me to you, let's be friends?**

**What Not To Do At Bloor's Academy**

**5. NO REPLACING GABRIEL SILK'S CLOTHES DURING THE NIGHT (OR ANY OTHER TIME OF DAY).**

After chasing Gabriel through the school for about 2 hours, Billy became unreasonably tired and was forced to stop his chase. He grumbled angrily as he walked back to his room to fetch a bottle of shampoo and then went into the bathroom in an attempt to wash his 'dirty' hair. He scrubbed and scrubbed but wasn't making much headway.

"What is this stuff?" he asked nobody in particular. "Permanent paint?" He sighed and scrubbed harder until he heard a pounding at the door.

"Billy Raven, are you in there?" shrieked Matron.

"Yes," he grumbled in reply, his head throbbing slightly from his rubbing.

"Well, you better be getting that obsenity out of your hair," she said nastily.

"I'm trying!" shouted Billy. "It's just -- not -- coming -- OUT!" He rubbed harder and stepped out of the shower to look in the mirror, the dye had barely lightened but the rest of his head looked whiter than ever.

"Well, then I'm coming in," Matron squawked. Billy heard the door begin to open and he hastily jumped to grab his towel and managed to wrap it around his waist just before she burst in.

"But this is a Boys' bathroom!"

"Do I look like I care? Now come here!" Before he could even gasp in terror, Matron was holding his head back and had pulled out a pair of scissors while Billy desperately tried to keep his towel from falling.

"What are you doing? Let go of me!" Billy yelped.

"Hold still!" Before he could try to get away he heard the snipping of scissors cutting away above his face.

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Gabriel came running into the dorm room, panting away as if his life depended on it.

"I think -- I -- lost him," he weazed out.

"Who?" asked Charlie nonchalantly. "Oh, Billy, right?"

Gabriel nodded and fell back onto his bed and groaned, "It's a good thing he's only 8 or he might've caught me."

"Not that you don't deserve it," Charlie mumbled. "That was a dirty trick you played, Gabe. Hilarious of course, but come on, he's just a kid."

Gabriel stared at him in amazment. "Whatever, Charlie. He had it coming and you know it."

Charlie smirked and was about to speak when they heard an ungodly loud scream coming from the Boys' bathroom.

"NOOOOOOO! NOT MY SPECTACULAR SNOW-WHITE LOCKS!"

"That sounded like Billy," said Charlie matter-of-factly.

"QUIT WHINING, RAVEN."

"And that sounded like Matron," said Gabriel nervously. He gulped and bit his lower lip out of anxiety. "You don't think anything awlful's happened, do you?"

"Dunno. Billy whines a lot, that scream could mean anything," Charlie said, buldging his eyes out for effect.

Gabriel looked solemnly at the floor and groaned again. "I just wanted revenge, I didn't--"

"Oh. My gosh. Billy!" Charlie stared at the doorway where Billy stood totally aghast.

"Hi, Charlie..." Billy mumbled quietly. He looked up and shot a death glare at Gabriel, "Gabriel..."

"Billy, what happened to your hair?" Charlie asked, Gabriel backing as far from Billy as if he had the bubonic plague.

Billy grimaced and his eye twitched angrily. "I couldn't scrub it out so Matron cut it off." He reached his hand up and ran it though what was left of his hair. With such a large chunk having been cut off right in the middle, Billy looked extremely like an elderly monk, the blue cape he was wearing only increased this resemblance.

"Listen, Billy. I'm really, really sorry about this! I never meant for you to suffer this much," cried Gabriel from his corner on teh other side of the room. Billy turned to him and he threw up his arms as if he was expecting to be hit.

Billy stared at him with a look of pure loathing for a short moment and then a look of forced serenity took it's place. He even managed a smile in Gabriel's direction but wouldn't look into his eyes. "It's okay, Gabriel. I...forgive you," he said sweetly.

"You -- you do?" Gabriel questioned warily. Charlie listened to the conversation incredulously.

"Of course. It was just a joke, between...friends," Billy looked Gabriel in the eye, Gabriel's showing gradually relaxing fear and Billy's glinting silently with a lust for revenge, sweet, sweet revenge.

"Yeah. It was just a joke between friends. No problem." Gabriel laughed nervously and came out of the corner to sit on his bed.

Billy smiled again. "I reckon it's about time for lights out so I'm just going to get ready. Be right back."

"G'night, Billy," Gabriel said hurriedly.

Billy jerked his head around, "Good night, Gabriel."

Aproximately 20 minutes later, Matron turned the lights off and sent the dorm into silent darkness. 10 minutes after that, Billy got up and began digging through his suitcase for his most prized possession: a pair of underwear once belonging to his favorite American cellebrity. It's was a silky and black and exactly what he needed. He crept over to Gabriel's suitcase, laughing maniacally inside his head. He froze as Gabriel stirred in his bed, moaning something about "Oh, Charlie, where did you learn that?" When the strange sleep-talking stopped he continued onward with his dangerous mission. He swiftly opened the suitcase, pulled out all the underwear and (after kissing it goodbye) threw his underwear inside. He took the pile of pink and neon green cotton boxers he now had and went into the bathroom. Had anyone been awake, they would have heard the toilet being flushed many times and someone crying out in frustration about the pipes being too small. Then Billy slithered back into his bed, the maniacal laughter keeping him awake.

The next morning, the dorm room woke up and began dressing as normal. Billy dressed lightening faast and sat on his bed to wait for Charlie, Fidelio, and...Gabriel.

"Come on, Gabriel. You better hurry up, you're not even dressed yet and for goodness sakes put some friggen pants on or something!" Fidelio turned away from his nude-from-the-waist-down friend. He threw a pillow at him over his shoulder.

"I AM hurrying! I can't find my freakin' underpants!" He began pulling clothes out and throwing them willy-nilly in his desperate search for underwear.

Charlie shielded his eyes until he could only see the suitcase. "Well, can't you just go commando for a day?" he asked. Gabriel looked up at him as if he were crazy.

"No way, Charlie! That's disgusting!"

"What's the big deal? I do it all the time," Charlie said nonchalantly.

Fidelio and Billy looked at him. "Too much information, Charlie."

"Whatever, man. If it were up to me, guys would be able to wear skirts too."

"Charlie, that's just weird!"

"Shut up! I like a healthy breeze around my privates, thanks!"

"Ugh!"

Fidelio, trying to change the subject, said, "Gabriel, why don't you just wear those?" He pointed to a pair of tiny silky black shorts.

"Honestly, I don't know where it came from."

"Well," injected Billy suddenly. "they're in your suitcase so they must be yours. Just put them on. Go on, do it..." Billy's eye twitched uneasily.

Gabriel winced and picked them up. "I suppose you're probably right..." He put them on as everyone else turned away pointedly. He threw on his pants and cape and was ready to go, yet feeling a little bit...odd.

They began walking to assembly, Gabriel every now and then jerking his head as if he was on some sort of up-tempo beat that no one else could hear. "Hey, does anyone else feel like dancing?" He tapped his feet on that same beat.

"Gosh, Gabriel. What's wrong with you?" Billy asked innocently.

"I--don't--know!"

Suddenly Gabriel's pelvis kept thrusting in random directions, mean while his feet kept sliding and tapping and he could't resist doing spirit fingers. His voice rose about three octaves and he yelled out "Hee Hoo!!"

"Gabriel Silk! Calm down and stop yelling this instant!" yelled Manfred.

"I can't!" His pelvis was uncontrollable and his feet were moving like there was no tomorrow. All of a sudden, a song started playing from no where. "What's that!?"

"Why, I do believe it's Thriller by Michael Jackson. How interesting. How do you feel, Gabriel?"

Gabriel's eyes got wide and he felt like he really wanted to hug Billy. He had no time though, for his body suddenly started acting out some sort of crazy 80's dance that he had no idea why he knew.

"Silk! Stop all that jiggling and get to Assembly!"

"I CAN'T!" He pleaded, he then fell to the floor and began doing the worm.

"That's it Silk! Enough of this crap! That's detention for you!"

"ARGH! HEE HOO!"

Billy released his maniacal laughter as the music finally stopped and followed Gabriel as he pelvic-thrusted all the way to the Assembly hall.

**Author's Note:**

**If you don't know who Michael Jackson is, look him up, and go out more, you've been living in cage your whole life. Or just look up Thriller. lol. Have fun with it. Love you all!**


End file.
